It’s been too long since I posted something. I guess that’s what you get for not having Internet or any other connection to the “real world”. As much as I love my satire and ruthless criticism of both irrelevant and current issues, it’s nice to take a break from something I get paid to do and just write something that’s a bit of a reflection. Today’s break is a reflection on something I dislike entirely: confrontation.
The quote is “You can’t change what you refuse to confront.” I see this in two lights.
The first light is me being caught up on that word, confront. I hate confrontations. I will go completely out of my way to avoid people and conversations about things that make me uncomfortable, which is a lot of things… I take this feeling to a whole new level; the conversation doesn’t even need to be hostile for me to fear addressing someone on an issue. In fact, today I had a spark plug go bad in my new car and I almost walked 3 hours after sunset in the snow because I was unwilling to ask my friend for a ride. That’s not even a confrontation, that’s just asking for help. But it meant admitting I had a problem and asking for resolution. I finally wised up and called, and the friend is even offering to drive me to work in the morning instead of me biking (as I had planned to do… in the snow). But, no, what about real confrontations? Those conversations that you know are just going to go bad, whether they will start bad or end by blowing up in your face. Someone isn’t living up to someone else’s expectations. Someone failed to follow directions at work or on a test. Or even someone noticing I skipped dinner and then making me feel like a criminal for it. Things that I’ll see coming from a million miles away that make me swerve so far out of the way that it becomes absurd. I hate confrontations.
The second light in which I see this quote is a much more simplistic view: I focus on the change. If there’s something wrong in the world, you’ve gotta go fix it! It won’t fix itself. Sometimes things need someone standing there, saying they’re broken before anyone will acknowledge the fact that something does indeed need to be fixed. That’s kind of how I view the work I want to do for the reservations; just because I’m native doesn’t mean I’m obligated to care about it, it’s just something that every American should have in the back of his or her mind. I’ve realized, in some situations, maybe I’ve gotta be the one to put it there.
So whether you’re worried about making that change or having that confrontation, we can see now how the two come hand-in-hand. In my efforts to acknowledge this fact and to better myself, I’m making strides to fear confrontations less – to realize that I have the right to speak out against things that aren’t as I think they should be. And, as always, I will continue to volunteer my time to the causes that are nearest and dearest to my heart: indigenous cultures and rights, hard work, virtuous living, local food, protecting the planet, animal rights, and respect.