Trailing Off…

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Ever really wanted to impress someone and then felt like you completely failed at it?  I don’t mean going over the top, dressing outside of your style, or acting like someone you’re not.  I mean being completely yourself and feeling like it’s the dullest thing you could be.

That happened to me this week.

I was so psyched to strike up some excellent, philosophical debate with someone who really seems to get me – or at least seemed to.  Ever since he’s gotten to know my friend, I feel like my grip on the situation is completely slipping.  But I can only be happy about it, if they’re happy about it.  I mean, what’s the use of going against what’s supposed to be.

Yet it was that empty feeling I couldn’t get over.  That moment like I was standing in a loud room but everyone could hear my stupidity.  I could hear deafening mockery through the silent gaps between each unanswered word I spoke.  I was going on about what was really on my mind this past week – namely because he asked about it – talking about how creation and evolution can or cannot coexist – and I kept pausing — no answer — continuing again – pause —- pause —- starting again.

He wasn’t even looking at me.  He was searching around the room.  I left my thought dangle in the air, midsentence, and trailed off.

He left it hanging.

The conversation ended without a period at the end of my last sentence.

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