I have heard that so many times. “He’s just so nice”. Someone who’s just so selfless and does things for people all of the time, someone who goes out of his way for no reason. Someone who’s just so nice.
Well, I used to think that.
I used to see all of the favors done, all of the thoughts thought of me or the prayers prayed to keep me safe. I used to think the food handouts, spare change, and bought meals were just part of that perfect niceness. But it’s not. He’s not so nice, really.
What is it to be a good person? Is it doing favors here and there, smiling, asking about someone’s day, and making materialistic contributions to others? No, it’s not. Not at all. Being a good person is doing things for someone that often never get acknowledged. And it’s NOT about donating money and things but more about donating time and making sacrifices.
It’s about staying behind after work – even if you have somewhere to be – to make sure someone makes it to the car store for oil, not about asking if they’re okay and handing them cash then going home.
It’s about telling someone else “no” to something you wanted to do, like sub in a volleyball game, so you can say “yes” to do something you know means way more to your friend, like be the only fan she’s ever had at one of her games and sitting the whole way through.
It’s about volunteering or going to church to better yourself, but it’s NOT about telling someone else what you’re doing in hopes that you can win them over in some way.
But most importantly, it’s about treating those closest to you the best. It’s great that your mommy thinks you’re just an excellent, attractive good-doer. (Part of that is she has to, she’s your biased mom.) But does mom see how you treat those who are emotionally the closest to you? Who rely on you to feel better about themselves? Who invested trust in you and then you broke it fifty times along the way? Mom only sees what you let her see, and you’re not letting her see that.
Why do people give money anyway? Well, honestly, it’s a selfish act. Donations make people feel good without having to really do anything. Seriously, look it up. Why we do things for others. It’s actually centered around ourselves more than the people we’re helping. So when he’s being so nice, isn’t he really just boosting his ego?
And when you give out money, ever considered how it hurts? To feel so incapable of taking care of yourself that someone with a similar job has to be giving you handouts? So there we go. You boost yourself up, I bring myself down. Who’s it really helping?
I don’t care how much money you give someone or how good you make your life look on a resume. If you can’t make real sacrifices from your own life to be a true, supportive friend… If you can’t stop thinking about yourself long enough to keep from breaking trust and wounding someone… well then you’re really not such a nice person after all, now are you?
Think about it.