I just got back from a long day full of work, my first dance class in a new studio, and attending Market Garden Brewery’s Brews + Prose as I always do – this time with special company. It’s the same old routine, a few new tweaks, and yet these are the moments when I feel like my “year of discovery” hasn’t progressed me in the slightest.
I’m still in the
same dull town, one year later. I’m working a real job, but it technically doesn’t answer my calling. I changed studios because I am not cut out to be a full-time, successful dance competitor and am settling for shows. I went to a favorite event at a favorite place with a favorite person and felt just as ORDINARY as I did with said favorite person a year ago. Not my intentions.
While traveling the world changed me internally, these external qualities are depressingly static.
So depressing that I can’t help but feel another wave of depression. It’s not because it’s winter; it’s because this is life, and life strikes at inconvenient times.
I’m exhausted from a day of internal struggle. I long for freedom and self-expression.
I also long for a second of that last pale ale because, darn, that was good.