ribs.

This dream isn’t feeling sweet
We’re reeling through the midnight streets
And I’ve never felt more alone
It feels so scary getting old

We can talk it so good
We can make it so divine
We can talk it good, how you wish it would be all the time


I want them back (I want them back)
The minds we had (the minds we had)
How all the thoughts (how all the thoughts)
Moved round our heads (move round our heads)

Did you know nostalgia is sometimes just an exaggerated memory, like somewhat of a figment of your imagination mixed with reality?

We make things we remember feel better than they are.

Those summer memories weren’t as sweet as you remember them.

But what makes us? If our bodies are replaced completely every 5 to 7 years with nutrients from the food we have eaten, we aren’t even the same person we were. If you haven’t seen someone for 10 years, they’re literally a new person.

Yet if our brain cells are all rebuilt as well, what are memories made of? How do they stay? Does replacing the material actually cause alterations that lead to those exaggerated feelings, to nostalgia?

I believe we are our memories and experience more than we are ourselves in the physical sense. A little scary. A little invisible, we are, if we are only our imaginations, our minds.

It makes our decisions and choices seem so much heavier if we are what we do and not what we exist as.

And we are getting older. Rebuilding. Elements perpetually changing. How can we cling to what we are? To have a sense of identity which provides belonging and, in turn, purpose?

In other news, I made so much OT money this week that I bought myself a pair of Toms. Many of my shoes have holes in the bottoms or their soles stapled on. And I couldn’t stop thinking about my little ones in Cameroon and their shoeless feet.

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Now someone somewhere will theoretically have shoes and it’s not like it cost me much to buy mine. Besides, it’s all relative. And I’m feeling better giving myself purpose and making a difference, no matter how small.

Radiant Orchid: Pantone Color of 2014

Today’s news is all over the board.  Nelson Mandela has died, Obama has been called out on a lie that rekindles my beliefs that he’s not really American, and Rachida Jones surprisingly has to defend herself against comments she made previously which disapprove of women trying to sell an image that they shouldn’t be selling.  Yet I am brought back again to a silly obsession that is plastered all over Pinterest, image searches, and the dolt-filled fashion world this morning: the announcement of the Pantone color of 2014.
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Last year, I wrote a satirical article about the Pantone color of 2013: Emerald.  This year, it’s a less startling and even more feminine “Radiant Orchid”.  I’m not sure what everyone’s obsessions with orchids, but I guess it stems from their long-lastingness and their original symbolism of rarity, beauty, and strength.  However, orchids come in so many different colors, and I certainly do not find a pink-purple to be the representative sample of a “radiant orchid” – but that’s beside the point.
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So amidst the countless women striving to succeed in the business world of men, we will now have cartloads of bimbos raving over this ultra-feminine shade of Barney, buying make-up sets that are way to over-priced and made with questionable materials and restocking their already grotesquely over-loaded closets and clothes racks with styles that hopefully aren’t as horrific as the ones on fashion show catwalks.  (Do they SERIOUSLY think those outfits look good??)  And, as always for your pleasure, enjoy some photos of what you KNOW you’ve got love for a whole other year now:
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